And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
— Mark 12:30
If you’ve gone to church all your life, chances are you’ve heard this verse. Many times. I sure have.
It’s one of those verses that has been engraved into my memory. And its meaning is pretty straightforward, isn’t it? That in whatever situation I’m in, I need to love God with all that I am. This could mean all sorts of things; whether through my actions, in prayer, or in worship. I knew in my head what loving God looks like.
But that’s what my problem was. I knew, but I didn’t feel. Especially in times of worship.
I attend a young adult’s group in my university town. We meet in a dingy dive of a bar every week, to make it more accessible for the university students who live just down the road. One time my pastor said something that really stuck with me. He said that his goal in preaching was to bridge the gap between worshipping God with both our heads and our hearts. Our heads respond to challenging topics and intellectual musings. Our hearts respond to things that make us feel, like the music the band plays. That took me aback. I realized then that when I worship God, I’m missing something.
What I had been doing wrong for so long was thinking that loving and worshipping God intellectually was enough. I always pictured myself as a cool kid who wouldn’t raise his hands in worship just because everybody else was. I didn’t want to be “emotionally manipulated” into worshipping God. I would raise my hands when I felt like it. Only I never really felt like it. I never let myself.
I would only raise my hands when the moment was right according to my checklist. Is it one of the last songs after a hard-hitting sermon? Check. Did the band cut out to let just the voices sing? Check. Has the lead singer pulled away from the mike in rapturous reverence? Check. It was a weird, calculating approach to worship that completely severed my faith from my emotions.
God wants all of me. He doesn’t just want me because He’s God and He wants what He wants. He wants all of me because He loves all of me.
It happened gradually, but eventually I started to let myself be “emotionally manipulated.” When the music swelled, I raised my hands. When everyone else closed their eyes in worship, I did too.
God has called me to worship Him with all of me. And that includes my heart. When I sing without inhibition, it’s often accompanied by tears and even laughter, something that never would’ve happened before. All because I decided to take the step of faith, and simply start loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Photo (Flickr CC) by Ricardo Camacho.
